Inspired by the brief period of time I thought I was polyamorous because I felt the same way about my boyfriend as I did my best friends and I hadn’t clocked yet that all of those feelings were platonic
if they rebooted austin powers it would either be the most tone deaf unfunny incredibly offensive movie in years OR they’d do it right and really keep with the times in being very self aware and it would be one of the best films in decades. austin powers would be a massive support of trans rights because trans women means more women for him to shag
oh your pronouns are she/they? well baby lemme she/them titties shagadelic
austin powers discovers bisexuality and it blows his fucking mind
sub plots of the movie include him learning who he thought was a woman he previously had relations with is a trans man now and powers teaching him the ways of picking up women & powers learning he has a daughter from one of his many escapades who’s accidentally followed in his footsteps to also become a spy. the two have to team up and powers struggles being a father after being absent for so long, but eventually it’s revealed his daughter is a lesbian and they bond over their mutual love of shagging women
the only joke made in regards to the trans man’s gender is powers going “you’re a man now? now that’s groovy, honey! sorry, is it still okay to call you honey?”
the trans man is revealed from powers learning about bisexuality and lamenting that he could’ve also been shagging men this entire time, only for the trans man to be like “well….”
instead of the usual awful transphobic joke of being disgusted powers is instead ecstatic that he’s already had relations with another man and that the pressure is already off for future encounters
there’s a mid credits scene of him celebrating his first planned encounter with a man and him making a comment about how he’s finally been with “both” genders, where he’s then informed of non-binary people existing and how there’s a whole world of genders for him to explore and it freeze frames on his shocked but absolutely delighted face
[id: two images. first is a orange pink and white crab with its pinchers in front standing in a way that makes it look polite. second is the five striped lesbian flag with its orange white and pink shades picked from the crab. end id]
wow this actually makes me feel really happy cause that person is me…
It me
I have to tell this story.
I thought I was the first person to come out on either side of my family, but like three years after I came out, my mom was like, “By the way, my Aunt Mildred was a lesbian.”
“What? Really?”
“Yeah. My mom just told me this story the other day about her. She also had really bad depression, so bad that she was hospitalized. Her father flew out to San Diego to see her there. The nurses caught him on the way in and told him the no matter what she said, he was not allowed to get upset.” (This is the Catholic side of the family. Like, serious Irish Catholic with eleven kids and multiple priests in the family. Also super-duper Southern. And this was the 1940s and it was illegal.) “And he got real scared, but he went in. And she said, ‘Daddy, I’m a lesbian.’ He threw his hands in the air and hollered, ‘OH THANK GOD! I was worried it was gonna be something bad.’”
So. Shoutout to my Great Aunt Mildred, because she got there before I did.
Further shoutout to my second cousin Jared, who thought he was the first in even the extended family until he turned up for Granny’s 90th birthday, saw me for the first time in probably fifteen years, and heard me utter the words, “My wife…”
General shoutout to anybody who even thought they were the first in their family when they came out, even if they found out differently later on.
Y'know what, I love this story so fucking much that I’m going to schedule it to reblog when people will see it.
shoutout to those nurses who were ready to throw the fuck down for their young depressed lesbian patient like… when we talk about allies that is actually the kind of ally that has helped us to survive. in the most literal sense.
